Nation Note (NN): This blog site sucks. I wrote this entry Thursday night and this POS of a site wouldn't let me post it. Anyway, waste not, want not. Here it is. I am changing over to Word Press this weekend - Ill notify you of the new blog address on this page. Oy.
When Black Friday comes
I just saw a story on Yahoo news, which often runs video of kittens doing cute thing, saying that there has been a major national security breach, and some how, some way, the world has found out too soon what Target is selling for cheap on Black Friday. Imagine! This is akin to the information leak that preceded the Bay of Pigs invasion. Now we know. Among other items I now know that by awakening at an ungodly hour and schelping out to the nearest Target store the day after Thanksgiving I can be rewarded with a two-slice sandwich maker for the astonishing price of 3, count them, 3 American dollars. Honey, set the alarm and warm up the car.
You know I do actually participate in the Black Friday shopping extravaganza. At least I have for the past two years. I first suggested attending the day after Thanksgiving door buster deal day way back in 2008 because I thought it was funny and maybe even a little amusing. I mean what could be more fun than getting up at 4 in the morning to have the ability to spend money? Nothing. Sex, maybe, but not by a lot. That first year, actually La Sooze and I benefitted from a hot tip we uncovered ourselves without the aid of Yahoo news when we were at a Target store and a clerk let slip sotto voce that the ol' Tarjay would be selling flat screen televisions at a low, low price on Black Friday. We happened to be in the market for a flat screen for Christmas for Little Kev and so we made the pre-dawn schlep and stood in line with literally hundreds of our closest friends and smoothly scored our television for a terrific price. Based on that experience I was absolutely hooked. I mean there is just something about getting a deal, no? Especially when you actually have to work for it. Like I felt like when I pushed my cart with a big box filled with television set into the freezing cold parking lot that first Black Friday (BF) morning, that I had accomplished something. I came, I shopped, I conquered. Veni, Visa, Vici! Having already popped my BF cherry, there was no question that last year La Sooze and I would do it again, and so we did. This time we went to the local mall at crack 'o dawn because some video game store there had a terrific deal on a PS3 game console complete with free games. Number One son Sean happened to want a PS3 and so we went again and this time we stood inside, which was a big plus, and we scored again. Such satisfaction. As it turned out, Little Kev ended up taking the PS3 with him to college so Sean is once again PS 3-less and not happy about it. Actually he wants an iPhone this year desperately. Do they sell those at Target?
Of course there are drawbacks to this BF thing, in addition to having to awaken at a time that I have not seen since I was a drunk, and in those days I was not lucid at that hour. The biggest drawback is that BF kind of encourages selfishness and greed and so the kind of people who turn out for these things are not exactly nuns and pacifists. These are people who would cut your throat for 10 percent off. Sean has a friend, a biga biga boy, who gets paid every year to take the Christmas gift orders of his nearest relatives and then he gets up and goes to BF sales and will steamroll you for a sale item. One year he literally jacked an item right out of someone's shopping cart because a family member had it on their list and there were none left on the shelves. So he saw one in a cart pushed by some old lady and he helped himself. Classic BF behavior. Anyway tonight when I read this Target leak story on the internet I mentioned it to La Sooze and she shot me a look like I'd just asked her if I could borrow a pair of her pumps, and then she simply looked at me and said "No." When La Sooze goes monosyllabic on me, I know she means business. So it looks like my Cal Ripkenesque streak of two straight BF appearances might be broken, although I did see where they had a terrific sale at Target on X-Box. Maybe I'll just ring up Sean's friend and he can rip one out of Mother Teresa's cart for me.
Oh and also I have not mentioned anything about books for a long time, have I? I haven't mentioned anything about water board torture or the Atlanta Falcons either, but let's stay on topic here. Several weeks ago I was moaning to you that I did not have a book to read and since then I picked up W. Somerset Maugham's Of Human Bondage, whch I have read about five times before but never tire of. Love that book. Any tome that contains the line "It is cruel to discover one's mediocrity only when it is too late," is A-OK with me, since I consider myself to be an expert at being mediocre. Anyway I still haven't bought Kindle yet so I can be right on and modern about my reading, but I will eventually. It is in the plan. In the meantime last night I went to the library looking for a biography of Al Capone but could not find one. I needed a little non-fiction to cleanse the palette. I ended up instead getting Boardwalk Empire, the book that the HBO show tht I am obsessed with, is based on. I just started reading it today on the subway so I will reserve my opinion, though early returns indicate B-O-R-I-N-G. We'll see.
So listen, before I hit the Country Squire to begin resting up for Black Friday I wanted to ask you if you noticed a change in the Nation today? No your eyes are not playing tricks on you. The type is bigger. The reason it's bigger is because La Sooze said to me today that if there is one thing she could change about the Nation, besides my blatant misspellings, it would be the type size. Too small, says La Sooze, sometimes it all runs together. La Sooze's wish, of course, is my command, and so you see before you the product of my deep and abiding love – 12 point type. Nice huh? Arial too. Nothing too much for my baby. Now of course the Nation looks like the Reader's Digest version for the sight impaired, but at least it's decipherable. I figured I'd try this out and see what our 10s of readers think about the type size. If it's too big we'll go back. In the meantime, drop the Wal-Mart reading glasses and feel the vibe. The Nation goes BIG time.